Monday, March 3, 2008

who I am

(This writing below started as my brainstorming about what I might say if asked about myself or my artwork that I have entered in a local art center exhibit. This exhibit is made up of a few works from each of many many local artists that aren't normally "artists." I am a bit nervous (I'm not a real artist, you know) about what meaningful information I could share with the gathering. A close friend asked me a few questions that got me thinking...)

Tell us about your work. Tell us about yourself. Rather than explaining the few photographs here, explain why you do what you do...
What motivates you to take pictures of the things you do? What makes you tick?
Why do I go out in the snow and the cold and climb up and down creek banks taking pictures of the naturally beautiful things that I see?
What do you want to photograph? What are you looking for when you take your camera out looking? What makes you want to learn to operate your camera better? To take it along for a ride on the 4wheeler or out in the cold of winter? Situations where most people wouldn't get out and brave the elements or the situations you do?

The naturally beautiful things - not just landscapes, but people and things too.

I try to capture these beautiful moments because I want others to experience the same beauty that I see. I'm constantly telling my husband and my close friends - that the final photograph - is no where near as beautiful as what I saw with my own 2 eyes. Even when I get close - I'm still not able to show the whole experience - to share completely through that 1 photograph the awesomeness that caused me to put my camera to my eye. And that motivates me to try again, to try something different, to learn my camera better, to brave the elements when I could just as easily shoot from the warmth and security of the car.

What are we really trying to accomplish with a photo? Do we photograph because we want to remember a feeling, an emotion - a moment?

When I go out for the explicit purpose of taking photographs - I'm not looking to create a new memory or even to re-create an old good memory - I'm just looking at the world around me - trying to look at it through different sets of eyes. Trying to slow down and see all the little beautiful things we miss when we fly by every day in a hurry for one reason or another. A weed can be a beautiful thing. A cow can be a beautiful thing. A dead tree can still be a beautiful thing just as much as a traditionally beautiful sunset or flower. If you just look at it with the right eyes. I feel alive when I'm looking at the world around me - witnessing some natural-occurring beauty of some kind - whether it's a summer sunset making Lincoln county pasture grasses glow or just a person's natural genuine smile when they think you aren't looking.

I can get better and better technically with my camera. I can visit more places and try to see more beautiful things. I can share those beautiful things that I do manage to catch on camera with a big chunk of the world if I try really hard - but will I ever be able to convey the emotion that I feel when I'm experiencing the adventure of being in the right place at the right time? Will my experience ever be the same experience that another person has when they view my photograph? Their life - their existence - their experiences influence how they see that photograph - how they react to it - what it makes them remember. So does the very thing that motivates me - that need to share my experience with another - that somehow that person will benefit from the experience the same way I did - turn out to be a false motivation? Can we ever share the same experience through a photograph? If it is a false motivation, I refuse to acknowledge that falsehood. I need to continue experiencing this alive feeling - for my own sanity and clarity. I'm most alive just me and my camera traipsing around somewhere I probably really shouldn't be - looking for a beautiful moment to try and share with someone else.

(all these thoughts could not have come together this way if it weren't for a challenging conversation with friends about experiences and the feeling of being alive or "fulfilled.")

KNH

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